The Glaciermen #25: Haze

Early access prepublication manuscripts of "The Glaciermen"

Hello Dear Readers,

Apologies for the late hour of this post. I was out of town all weekend for the holiday, so everything I wrote was scribbled in a notebook. I had to type it all up before I could post it, and that took a long time.

Neither here nor there, either way, and even more words that people say before saying things, let’s get into it. This is a weird and wild one.

(Here’s the previous segment if you missed it, and the first chapter and index, if you’re new).

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Haze

Recap: Desperate to survive, Lee used the godseye gel on his wounds and it worked. In a burst of rage-fueled energy, Lee killed the polar bear and her cubs, but what now?

Lee felt amazing. It was as if time had slowed down while he sped up. The gel on his chest still glowed brightly and the pain had not returned. In fact, the gel seemed to have stopped the bleeding, too. The floating shapes and twisting colors had died down once he had finished with the cubs, but if he paused to look closely, everything still seemed to oscillate the slightest amount, and even colorless things had a scintillating sheen on them, as if an invisible layer of oil was coating everywhere he looked with scattering microscopic rainbows.

The feeling from before threatened to return again. Everything was… wrong. But he pushed it away. He had done what he needed to do. Plus, it was kill or be killed out here in the wilderness, and they would not have survived anyway. What choice had he had? His body still reverberated with energy, anyway, and he was invigorated, so what was there to feel bad about?

No wonder they don’t let those lowlifes in the chasm have this stuff, Lee thought.

His stomach growled aggressively, and in the next moment he was overwhelmed with hunger, as if his stomach filled his entire torso and would at any moment begin digesting him if he did not get food soon. He eyed the carcasses nearby. There was the bulltooth, but it was already messed up. There was the polar bear, and behind it were the three—no, there was nothing worth looking at behind it.

The bear meant meat, and Lee’s mouth was already watering, but there was no way he could butcher it with the ice pick, and unfortunately his limited human body did not come equipped with such useful claws or teeth. He could retrieve his blade, but there was no telling how long he would have to search for it. It couldn’t be far, but it was still annoying.

This stinks, Lee thought. Now I’ll have to go out there and find it, and after that I’ll still have to get my fire kit from the sled. Ugh! Nobody said this would be so much stupid work… I hope this cave isn’t too far off.

Suddenly Lee was not in the cave. He was outside, near the water of the inlet, as if he had been teleported there, and he was holding his machete. Confusion wrung his mind. He could barely remember walking from the cave, yet simultaneously he was sure that the memory must have belonged to someone else. A blink, then he was at the sled, rifling through the packs.

What am I looking for again? Lee thought, frustrated, then he paused. He was aware that he had been at the sled for several minutes, but somehow he felt like he had just been somewhere else, but this time he could not remember how he got from there to here. Where was there, anyway, and why was he now here?

This is too weird, he thought, then looked around.

He had apparently already found his waterskin and a webbed net. The net wiggled on the ground in his peripheral vision, but if he looked at it directly it was still again.

Why do I need that? He thought, then he remembered his original goal. Oh, fire kit.  Make a fire, eat the bear, that’s right. But why the net?

Then everything went black for a second, and he was back in the cave again, yet felt as if no time had passed at all. His eyes were closed. A fire crackled. The sound was immensely loud in his ears, as if tree branches were snapping all around. He was chewing, chewing something delectable.

Bear, he thought, almost involuntarily, Give me your spirit, bear, as I eat you. Lend me your strength.

The taste was so strong that the sounds ran off in fear, leaving him in perfect silence as his mouth became the center of the universe while fatty bits of meat squished around between his teeth. Each taste bud seemed independently alive, as if a crowd of a million fans were screaming in adulation on his tongue. The flavors became music in his mind, a soft, mellow tone that played up and down. It was a joyful melody, but there was a sadness behind it.

Then the sounds became colors in front of his closed eyes, swirling and pulsing with each crunch of his jaw. A kaleidoscope of shapes overtook the colors, dancing in geometric patterns as bright lines snaked through and around the shapes as if they were alive, twisting and intercepting each other in intricate patterns.

Then the meat was gone, and so were the shapes, sounds, and smells, and Lee was staring into a pile of dying coals. He could vaguely remember watching the flames dance, but had no sense of how long ago that had been. His stomach was comfortably filled, and there was grease smeared on his face, and somehow he had two moccasins again. He must have found the missing one at some point. Things still wobbled in his peripherals, but for the most part his main field of view was stable.

The shadows had shifted. It was no longer dusk, and the cave was now dimly illuminated by the blue glow of the godseye gel on his chest and the first rays of moonlight beaming down from a perfectly clear night.

I must have been out of it for hours, Lee thought. Aguta wasn’t kidding about seeing things. This stuff is wild.

With his mind somewhat clear again, the dark feeling came back again. It almost felt like guilt, and he pushed it away for the third time, replacing it with thoughts about what to do next. He looked at the bulltooth. He was supposed to bring its head back to the village, but it was in bad shape, and no doubt his fellow villagers would assume he had stolen the kill. That was not the reception he was looking for.

Then he looked at the bear, and he had another idea.

• • •

The sun had set hours ago now, but between the moonlight and the glow from the gel on Lee’s chest, there was plenty enough light for him to see his next step as he jogged across the ice of the glacier. The gel was not glowing as brightly as it had when he left the cave, but he still felt invigorated and he was making great time between the stimulating effect of the godseye and not having to drag the heavy sled. He had been running for hours and his legs were beginning to ache just a little, but he didn’t know how much longer the effect would last, so he kept the pace up. He had to make it back before it wore off. And he was going to make it back, he was sure of it. He needed to see the looks on everyones’ faces when he strolled back into the village with his prize: the head of a polar bear.

It was slung over his good shoulder, hanging on his back within the net, bouncing with each step across the ice. The villagers would gape at first, then they would be amazed. They would cheer for him, pat him on the back as he walked by, and hope to be seen talking to such a rare talent. They would finally respect him.

“I know what you did.”

Lee stopped. Eyes wide, he turned in a circle. He was alone on the glacier.

“I know what you did to them.”

“Who said that?” Lee shouted.

There was no one there, just twinkling stars and open ice glittering in the moonlight.

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And that’s it for now folks

Thanks for reading! I’ll try to post another segment by next Tuesday, so keep an eye on your inbox.

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– Xavier Macfarlane

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