The Glaciermen #26: Stowaway

Early access prepublication manuscripts of "The Glaciermen"

Good evening Dear Readers,

It’s Teeth chattering Tuesday, innit, so here’s the latest litany from Lee, icy, irksome, and icky, unabashedly unnerving as usual, and with fortuitously fewer laughably lame limericks than this shoddy sheister of a sickly sentence.

Let’s just jump in before I write anything else stupid…

(Here’s the previous segment if you missed it, and the first chapter and index, if you’re new).

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Stowaway

Recap: After a psychedelic jaunt from the inlet cave back to the glacier’s surface, with the polar bear’s head as his prize, Lee is confronted by a mysterious voice, which said, “I know what you did.”

…There was no one there, just twinkling stars and open ice glittering in the moonlight.

“Don’t pretend. Don’t pretend you didn’t know, Lee. Don’t pretend you didn’t know what you were doing… that you liked it.”

Lee could hear it. Close. The voice sounded like it was coming from his back. Could it be? Lee slung the net off his shoulder and let what it contained thump onto the ice in front of him. Dead eyes stared out at nothing, shining in the blue glow from the godseye gel on Lee’s chest.

“They didn’t deserve what you did to them, Lee.”

He gasped and stepped back. Even though he was certain the head of the polar bear had not moved—not even budged—somehow he knew it was the source of the voice. It was an old, matronly voice, and would have reminded Lee of his grandmother if he were not startled by it at that moment.

It must have been the lingering effect of the godseye, because even though some part of him recognized the absurdity of the situation and knew this was certainly just another auditory hallucination—not that Lee knew that term for it—he nonetheless completely believed that the dead bear was actually talking to him, or at least its spirit or something like that, so he felt little in the way of foolishness when he responded in kind.

“You’re just a stupid dead bear. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lee said.

“I was there, Lee. I saw it with my own two eyes, right in front of me.”

“But you were dead already.”

“Do you really think that matters? Look at me and tell me death is the final end.”

The bear had a point.

“Well, dead or not, I did what I had to, okay. You made me do it anyway. It was self defense. You were gonna eat me.”

“It is true. That was my intent, but I did not force you to do anything. I do not recall holding my claw to your throat. You could have just snuck out.”

“Sure, yeah,” Lee snorted, pointing a finger at the head, “As if you weren’t just gonna hunt me down anyway. I had to kill you, and you know it.”

“Fair enough, child.” Somehow Lee knew the bear was nodding, even though the lifeless head remained motionless.

“But my cubs were innocent. They were no threat to you.”

“Nuh-uh.” Lee did not know why he felt so compelled to defend himself. Part of him knew the bear was probably right, but he was not ready to admit it.

“Oh give it a rest, Lee. They were harmless, my children, and you killed them. Even worse, you clearly enjoyed it! What is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? What about you?” Lee snapped, throwing up his hands, “You stole my bulltooth, you snuck up and attacked me—that was a real cheap shot, you know—and you were gonna eat me. And I know you liked it, too. Don’t go acting all superior on me.”

“Ah, but I am just a beast, driven by instinct: hunt, eat, sleep, protect. What drove you, Lee?”

He did not like where the bear was going with this.

“Survival,” he said, compelling himself to believe his own response. 

“An unlikely answer. You risked quite a lot by attacking me. If survival were truly your motive you would have simply run off. Be honest with me now.”

“You’re wrong,” Lee replied, “I needed the bulltooth to complete the Second Trial, or else I would have been a goner. That counts as survival.”

“You do not need to lie to me, little one. I too am an apex predator. I understand the need you felt. The need to hunt. To kill.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“I know you are lying.”

“You don’t know anything,” Lee snapped.

“Revenge. Rage. Power. You should have listened to Aguta’s warnings. You gave into these, and now you are a killer.”

“Shut up!” Lee yelled, clutching at his temple, “Get out of my head!”

“Ironic choice of words, given my own situation, but if you say so.”

Lee waited for the disembodied head to speak again, but there was only silence. He breathed a sigh of relief, then laughed at himself. How could he have been so silly to think it was really talking to him. It was just the godseye and the bump on his head, that’s all. People hear things all the time after they hit their head. Nothing to worry about at all.

The boy slung the net back over his shoulder and continued his trot. He tried to put the odd conversation out of his mind, but he was failing miserably to do so. He could not stop thinking about the bear cubs, their whimpers, and the shrill screams at the end. The guilty feeling was coming back, strong, and whatever had been keeping it at bay before was nowhere to be found. 

Lee suddenly felt alone, so very alone.

“Um… hey, spirit bear thing, you still there?” he said, aiming back over his shoulder.

He waited a few seconds, but there was only silence. He was truly alone.

“This is so stupid,” he chided himself, trying to force out a weak laugh, “I can’t believe I thought—”

“I’m still here, kiddo,” the grandmotherly bear voice said, “It’s not as if I can go and run off without any arms or legs, now can I? You made sure of that when you left the rest of me back there in the cave. Now tell me, what is it you want to talk about?”

“So, um… I just want to say that…” Lee mumbled, trailing off.

“Well? Spit it out already,” the voice said.

“Hey,” Lee snapped, “I’m trying to be nice here, okay. You’re the stupid talking head, not me.”

“There is no need for insults, child, and last I checked you talk with your head, too.”

Lee groaned. Of all the bear spirits out there, he had to get the one with an attitude.

“Look,” he said, “I’m just trying to say I’m sorry, for… you know… killing your cubs.”

“That’s a pretty weak apology considering you were laughing while you did it.”

Lee did not answer. He was ashamed.

“Alrighty then, it’s a start. Anyway, that’s what you get for ignoring grumpy old Aguta’s warning about the godseye.”

“What do you mean?” Lee asked. “He told me to use it.”

“He told you to rub it on your skin, not mainline it into your bloodstream via an open wound—no telling what that might do. You’re not very good at following instructions are you? I bet you weren’t even paying attention while he was warning you about the side effects.”

“I was too!” Lee retorted.

“Then tell me, child, do you remember the part about unbridled aggression and addicting power? Oh, you’re definitely flirting with the insanity part—I mean look who you’re talking to. And I would bet my head that you completely forgot that the effect is only supposed to last for an hour, but here we are, godseye glowing strong half a day later. Now that one is a real head scratcher...”

“How do you know all this?” Lee asked, bewildered.

The voice paused, as if to think of a good answer, then in a cheeky voice replied, “I’m just a dumb dead bear. You tell me.”

“Are you some kind of spirit? One that’s haunting me since I, you know…”

“Sounds plausible enough.”

“Oh, you're a whole lot of help,” Lee huffed, “All you can do is tell me stuff I already know. Some spirit—wait, I know! You’re just one of those, what's it called, a sub-con-shuss. Yeah! Like that TV doctor, Doctor Fred, the one with the mustache. He would tell people the reason they felt bad is cause they were fighting their sub-con-shuss. You’re just myself talking to myself. How could I not see it before?”

“If that’s what you want to believe.”

“Yeah,” Lee said, feeling more sure of himself by the minute, “You’re just in my imagination. That’s why you can only say things I already know. You’re not even real.”

“If I’m not real, then how do I know you’re being followed?”

Lee stopped in his tracks. The voice was lying. It had to be.

“No way,” he replied, “You’re just my sub-con-shuss, and you have to die or something if I, what was it, ‘count to terms’ with you. That's what Dr. Fred said.”

“So I suppose this is goodbye then, kiddo, once you ‘count to terms’ with me.” The voice said with an almost mocking tone and a chuckle.

“I’m just feeling bad about what I did, but I said I’m sorry, so you have to go away now,” Lee said, then defiantly continued onward without looking back.

“Okay then, if you’re sure about it I’ll go, but then it will just be you and that glowy blue man who has been behind you for the past ten minutes.”

Lee whirled around. The voice was not lying. About a hundred yards back a lone blue figure glowed in the night. Lee was about to start running when the voice spoke again.

“I wouldn’t do that. If they wanted you dead, you would be dead. Best to just keep doing what you were doing and avoid provoking him.”

It had been two months since Lee had seen a tunlaq. He was nearly back at the tunnel entrance into the glacier. He was so close—why now? It all felt so unfair.

“You must have done something to catch their attention. Maybe it was using their sacred goop, or perhaps it is the not-bulltooth head on your back. Who knows? Not me, I’m just a dead bear.”

“Shut up,” Lee said, making a decision. 

Then he turned and sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him. He was close to the tunnels. Aguta would be there to meet him. He could make it if he was fast enough.

“Uh-oh, child, he did not like that. Now he is running too. But my-oh-my, you are a fast one with that blue stuff. You just might beat him.” The voice said, laughing as it went on a ride.

Lee’s feet pounded against the glacier. He could see the ridge in the ice which hid the crevasse and the entrance to the tunnels.

“He’s gaining on you!” the voice yelled.

Lee ran harder, but the effort pushed his wounded body to the limit. A starburst of pain exploded from his chest. He skidded to a stop and looked down at it, half-expecting to see a spearpoint protruding out. There was none, but the godseye gel was glowing brilliantly bright, and he could see a fresh trickle of blood running down his pant leg below the parka.

His vision exploded with blinding color and boiling, effusing geometric patterns and shapes. His head spun, his ears rang, his stomach churned. He lost all sense of balance.

“You don’t look good, child. This might be goodbye after all.”

Lee flailed his good arm, assaulted by colorful havoc on all sides. He lost his footing and fell to the ground, covering his eyes with his forearm. This only made things worse, because behind his eyelids even more chaotic shapes and colors swam and swirled all around him, and soon he lost himself amongst them.

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And that’s it for now folks

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– Xavier Macfarlane

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